Reopening Anxiety, Post-Mask
Five strategies that help me combat social anxiety as COVID-19 restrictions lift
2021 anxieties are different from 2020 anxieties. We went from “Is the world going to end?” and “Should I wipe my apple with disinfectant before I eat it?” to “Is the world going back to normal for good?” and “Should I still wear my mask even if I’m vaccinated and the requirement is lifted?”
An American Psychiatric Association poll from March 2021 shows that 41% of U.S. adults are more anxious than they were last year, and 62% of U.S. adults were more anxious in 2020 than they were in 2019. We’ve dealt with 2020 anxieties as best as we could, and now we’re tackling a whole new can of worms as restrictions are lifting and a new strain of social anxiety is emerging.
In theory, I’m thrilled that restrictions are being lifted and I can take my sweet time picking out cereal at the grocery store without making a mad run for the Cheerios before the aisle gets a tad crowded. I can read lips, write smiles, and make faces at babies in shopping carts. In reality, though, the mask gave me confidence.
Three Things I Discovered About Myself Since Reopening
1) I like the mask.
Part of the comfort of mask-wearing is being able to cover something that is normally instantly judged by others — my face. The face is a private and unique part of the body; it’s what sets us apart from others and makes us a target for coworkers and old acquaintances to call out in public. The mask gave me a way to blend in — we all looked more alike, so I was less worried about being seen by someone I knew in public. Looks like movie-stardom isn’t my cup of tea.
With the majority of my face hidden from judgement, I could relax a little. It didn’t matter who was looking at me or if they happened to recognize me, because there would only be that small part of my face to gawk at.
2) I don’t trust reality.
Part of the comfort of wearing a mask might be my obsession with following rules. It feels like I’m breaking a rule when I don’t wear a mask indoors in public, and I constantly fret that someone will come up to me and tell me to put on my mask or give me the stink-eye.
The first non-restaurant I entered without a mask on was Lowe’s. I went in from the garden entrance and felt like I needed to cling to the perimeters. I was constantly glancing at the faces of employees and other customers to check that my eyes weren’t playing tricks on me and this wasn’t one of those bad pandemic dreams where you forget to wear a mask in public.
3) I don’t like to linger in stores anymore.
The next store I explored without a mask on was Barnes & Noble. Two years ago, my boyfriend and I went there when we first started dating and spent over an hour browsing books, magazines, and movies. This time, after we tiptoed in, he said, “Wanna get crazy?” So we took off our masks and let our fully-vaccinated lungs taste the fresh-off-the-press pages that were so dear to my heart.
However, after a year of the “get in, get your stuff, get out” mentality, I felt like booking it out of there ASAP. Without a mask on, I had tunnel vision, and the only thing I saw was getting out of the store and into the open air.
Five Strategies That Help Combat Social/Reopening Anxiety
As someone who’s experienced social anxiety before the pandemic, I have a few tricks up my sleeve that might help you if you experience any anxiety about lifted COVID-19 regulations, whether you have a little unease or a wrecking ball of anxiety about the transition into the “new normal.”
1) Check in with yourself.
Find out what the source of your anxiety is. New social boundaries? Exposed face? Proximity? Not wanting to be the first or only one?
Ask yourself if you’re still wearing the mask because you’re wary about COVID-19 or wary about exposing the rest of your face to the world. Like I said earlier, the face is private. When we feel vulnerable, we want to hide what’s private to us.
If your answer is that you are wary about an exposed face, acknowledging this is a good first step. Remember that you don’t have to expect yourself to go everywhere possible without a mask yet.
Something that helps me with this exposure is wearing a mask into a store I haven’t been in since the mask requirement was lifted for fully-vaccinated Ohioans. I make sure I’m not having a Twilight Zone moment and the signs on the doors really do say “Face coverings are optional for fully-vaccinated customers.” Then I take the mask off inside. No one looks at me funny, and the world keeps spinning.
2) Arm yourself.
Ask yourself if you’d be more comfortable going out with someone. Would it help to be with someone equally as anxious as you are in public to carry some of the burden? Or would it help to have someone virtually unbothered? Or would it be best to focus on you and go by yourself?
Pre-pandemic, it was a comfort to have a partner-in-crime or group to go out with. This saved me from 98% of my social anxiety in just about every situation. Now, it doesn’t always work that way, especially if I’m going to a store I haven’t been to since 2019 and trying to figure out what guidelines they’ve set. It does still help to have a partner/partners in crime, though, especially if I voice my concern to whomever I’m with beforehand.
3) Prepare yourself.
My first mistake was fighting a gladiator after one sword lesson from Tinker Bell. I was excited that restrictions were lifting, and since I’ve been going to stores mask-less and not socially distanced for all but 1.2 years of my life, I figured this would be child’s play. But it turned out to be a game I’d never played or heard of.
It might sound ridiculous to have to prepare ourselves for approaching public spaces, but we all do that in some ways — what would you wear to a grocery store as opposed to an outlet mall?
Premeditate a few coping strategies that work for you so you can use them if you feel uneasy. For example, deep-breathing, closing your eyes for a few seconds, saying something kind or encouraging to yourself, and talking about it to the person you’re with.
If you’re anxious about new social boundaries, whether your own or others, remember that clarity is key. Before meeting up with someone, ask what they are comfortable with in general. Then, ask before you give a hug. If you prefer no hugs, tell the person you’re not doing hugs yet, and then continue to talk excessively about your great aunt’s hip surgery.
4) Try not to back-and-forth think.
I know I’m anxious about something when I constantly switch from bravely reassuring myself that it will be great to “Nope, nuh uh, no sirree, can’t do it.” This type of thinking is a trap, because you’ll never get out on the positive side.
Deciding whether or not to venture into the social world— going to a party, bringing your laptop to a café, going shopping — might’ve been frustrating enough if you had social anxiety before the pandemic. Writing down what I’m thinking helps me come to the decision that works best for me. If you sort through your thoughts and the anxiety isn’t too overwhelming, I challenge you to go out and do whatever you’re eagerly dreading!
5) Gradually push yourself.
If you aren’t comfortable doing things you did before the pandemic, try not to get frustrated that it isn’t easy to snap back. The Sunday brunches and theater productions will still be there when you’re ready for them!
If you have bandwagon anxiety (a term I made up), you don’t want to be one of the first ones to do something — get vaccinated, go mask-less in a store, hit the dance floor, go to the restroom at a restaurant or house (because then you don’t know where it is and have to be the one to ask). My anxiety about the changing COVID-19 regulations lessens once people tell me about their experiences or, for example, at least half of the people I see in a store aren’t wearing a mask. Not that I condone the bandwagon effect, but following or acting with others is more helpful for me in these situations than paving my own path.
Getting Started
You’ve probably heard that the worst thing to do is stay in your bed or house. The bed and house that keep you from interacting with the reopening world are your own personal drugs. Don’t let yourself rely on them for comfort, spend all of your free time in them, or forget about the things that bring you joy for them. Don’t withdraw too quickly, though, or you’ll relapse. Spend half an hour less in the bed/house a day, then an hour, and so on.
With your extra time, push yourself to go to the store or gathering that some part of you is dying to go to, even if you only stay ten minutes. Once you have those ten minutes in your pocket, I hope you find yourself less and less anxious during future social interactions.
How do you combat reopening anxiety or social anxiety in general? Let me know with a comment!
